i remember...

from the title u must be thinking that i am going to get totally nostalgic and sentimental... You are absolutely correct... I am going to write about my first love...

Of course not a man. who could love a man to remember him like this?! it wasn't even living... but it was still vibrant with life... it was the place in which i had spent a major part of my childhood, golden years and whatever they call it.

When I was 2 years or a little older I was uprooted from my ancestral place to this place. Well, of course I felt like I was uprooted and I was upset. Afterall I had lived there all my life, however insignificantly small. And I came to this magical place. Let me call it Utopia. Because it was my Utopia. How does it matter what its actual name was?! To me it was a dream place anyway. So what do you mean by 'actual'?

Anyway, so in Utopia, I used to stay in this quaint little township in the middle of nowhere and it was surrounded by forests. The township as it was called could hardly be called that. Only six (sometimes less) families stayed there. It was really in the middle of the wilderness. My parents thought it a very inconvenient place. But, I loved every bit of the pink walls of the building. Well, the outside of our house was painted in pink, you know. And right in front of it there were two Debdaru trees(what do u call it in english?!). They stood like toy soldiers outside a toy castle. Only the soldiers never moved. They swayed and shivered in the breeze. They made me so happy! Then came the cobble stoned path half covered in sand. I never asked where so much sand came from. But, it was fun. I didn't have to go to some sea shore to build sand castles. And all around there were really tall trees. And strange looking shrubs. And foot tracks through them. Our favorite place to try and discover a new track or to hunt for buried treasure. Well, I did manage to recover a worn sock, a broken cup, a beautiful key, and some mysterious looking bones. Well, at least it was mysterious to me at that time.

And in that little forest of mine, there were white hares and cunning jackals. The hares were so cute and furry and scuttered all over the place. The jackals liked to hunt for the hares. And never caught them. The tiny things were so extremely fast.

And some distance away from our house, some Nepali families lived. They used to sing with their guitars at night. Around a fire in the winter time. The flames and the smoke twisted and danced with them. And out of the flames high up you could see the form of a fairy. Circling high above. Singing with them. Singing with us.

And there was a haunted looking church in the short-cut from school to my home. It wasn't really haunted. Nobody had seen anything with a white dress at night. Or any ethereal melancholic voice. But, I liked to imagine that it was haunted. And also liked to think that the ghosts were really nice people, er ghosts. And that they liked me. And so they never scared me. But, used to chat with me and treat me to tea ( I wasn't allowed to have tea that time but you see, I was so awefully fond of it.). They were really sweet ghosts.

So, you see how my Utopia was. It had cute house with nice soldiers and sand and cobble stone, a jungle to hunt for treasures, a nice church with nice ghosts... a nice school... didn't I tell you I loved this school... and two nice dogs... oh, I had forgotten to tell about them... Jackie and Blackie... they were the sweetest meekest pets... they weren't really pet dogs... but they always stayed with me and played with me and even helped me unearth some treasures... so they WERE my pet dogs... they even came to the little pond where I used to go and throw stones and play... what play?! o... i used to throw really flat pieces of stone and see how many times it can bump over the water surface without going under... i don't know the name of the game... for a very long time, i thought i had invented it, till i saw somebody else play it and then somebody and then some more...

so I had lived in this cute little Utopia of mine and I had loved it... and still love it... are u going to ask the usual question?! "am I going to go back to it?" ... you know that's a silly question... firstly, it is with me... how else could I remember and tell you all this... and about going back and actually living in that place?? well, I think that would be silly too. afterall it would have changed... Utopia will not be Utopia anymore... oh, i am not talking about whether the change is for good or not... any change will make my Utopia into something else... I wouldn't want that.. would I? and also............... this way I can always keep hoping of seeing my Utopia right in front of my eyes. and i have it to dream about... i wouldn't want to spoil that...