Yesterday I heard a small essay on the forest music. I had some constructive criticism to put in. That got me thinking. What would I have written?! Here it should be pointed out. I have never really been to a forest. I have always wanted to. But, I can always imagine. I can always dream...
Let me dream ....
I woke up when the first rays of sunlight touched the soft green leaves of the trees all around me. The birds and insects were already up. They were busily going about with their daily life. I heard the birds twittering as they flew out to maybe find food. It was a November morning. Just starting to get colder. The time of the year when you can smell the air getting cooler and the plants starting to look forward to all the flowers that are going to bloom. It always smells of anticipation during this time of the year in the tropics. I could see the red rays of the morning sun through the leaves of the trees forming strange patterns, crisscrossing on the ground. Beams of light coming through the foliage and when I stood under it, I felt like I was on a stage with the spotlights on. Did I tell you, when I was young I used to be mystified by the morning rays of the sun as it came through the window? I wanted to hold it in my hand. Later on, I learnt that what I saw was not the sun ray but the dust particles. But, in my mind today I could again see the shimmering bits of dust as the little bits of sun rays frolicking on me. And I saw butterflies. In myriad colours. And I saw birds.
As the day got older, the suns rays got more even. The whole forest was lighted up with an even but not too strong light. I could hear lots of forest sound. The screeching calls of the animals. The rustle on the leaves as they moved. Maybe I saw a monkey or two. Maybe I imagined seeing a few more animals of unknown origin. And all the while I looked out of my little balcony into the forest. Then came the noon time somnolence. It seemed to have captured the forest. The forest rested. And I heard the distant soft sound of water flowing through a narrow stream. I had seen the stream the other day. It was a tiny rivulet. Not very remarkable.
The noon day siesta was over. I was sitting on my balcony looking at the wee hours of twilight. There is something strange about this time. Maybe it is rightly called the witching hours. I always feel a little melancholy at this time. Maybe the forest felt it too. The birds were flying back. They were talking to each other about their day. Maybe sternly telling their little ones to behave as the little ones all too excited to see their parents were scrambling for attention and also food. It was the family reunion time. And then slowly the birds fell silently to sleep and the crickets took on the forest. It was getting increasingly dark. The shrubs looked like tiny monsters and the huge trees loomed over everything ominously. I felt a small shiver run down my spine. The fear of the unknown took over. The only things other than the indistinct outline of trees were the fireflies and maybe the eyes of animals looking up at me. Hungrily? Fiercely? All I could hear was the indistinct rustle of leaves as some animals or rodents moved on them and the monotonous drone of the crickets. Some times a stray animal call. I felt like in an island.
And then I looked up into the sky. I saw stars. Like I have never seen them before. I saw the whole milky way looking at me. It was the most intricate diamond necklace that man could imagine. It was the most beautiful thing that god had created! I felt tiny. I felt insignificant. And then I felt one with the stars. I felt like the universe. It was breathtaking. A stray droplet of tear coursed down my cheek as I payed homage to the star-studded sky.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Ballygunge Court, the movie
I finished watching the movie Ballygunge Court. It is a movie by Pinaki Chaudhari about the tragic lives of a few elderly couples in a Calcutta based multi-storeyed apartment complex called Ballygunge court.
Although the setting and circumstances look real enough, the movie can be at best called mediocre and weak. Assuming the Pinaki Chaudhari wanted to depict the plight of the modern senior citizen plight in Calcutta, I do not understand why he had to show it in such a negative light. Surely, the senior citizens deserve more dignity than this.
The movie starts with a middle-class elderly (?) house-wife being driven out of her home by her alcoholic husband being accidentally run-over by a car and the husband beating himself up while their son dumps the blame of her mothers death on his father and going abroad. Then we get acquainted with all the other couples in that complex. Sabyasyachi Chatterjee, the real cool dad. Soumitra Chatterjee who does not allow his son to move abroad and Mamata Shankar the understanding mother. Monoj Mitra, the lonely father who takes resort in gardening etc. And the oldest couple, the Hirani's who get murdered.
The movie has some good acting by Sabyasachi Chatterjee, Soumitra Chatterjee and Mamata Sankar and good music by Pt. Ajay Chakraborty.
But, other than that it is too slow and long drawn. And at times very self-contradictory. In the movie, Sabyasachi Chatterjee's daughter Begum goes away to Mumbai to join fashion designing school and with lot of guilt for that (shown in negative light) whereas the security guard of the building Rudy has left his cancer ailing mother in his village (shown in positive light) while it looks like the relative distance of Calcutta to the village is a couple of hours and that of Mumbai and Calcutta too is just a couple of hours by people who can afford to fly which surely Begum can.
Other such contradictory points are more evident. Like the fact that Soumitra and Mamata had been abroad busy earning money and fame while their son stayed in hostels but when they get old, it seems like suddenly all the equations get reversed and the son has to give up his life to stay and take care of his parents who by the way are neither senile nor incapacitated in any way. And even Soumitra is selfish enough to ask what his daughter-in-law would do in her parents' place for a week! That was ridiculous! Just because she is a good wife and good daughter-in-law and just because he is used to her being around does not mean that her own parents do not mean anything to her! I found it a bit harrowing that she had to ask permission to go to her place and really beg and cajole. And also the logic of the daughter-in-laws sister was infallible in a way that when she comes back home for holiday from UK she will spend all the time with her parents unlike her sister, the perfect wife and daughter-in-law who cannot take care of her parents that way. The fallible part of her logic according to me is that she thought she would be able to come back for 5-7 weeks. That kind of holiday is unthinkable.
What amazes me even more is that all the parents wanted to keep their sons and daughters back so that they could take care of their parents, but never came up with the term 'brain drain'. Never asked them to stay back because of their country. Because of what they owed to the country. And the question of how Soumitra's daughet-in-law almost never visited her parents came into the equation.
There were however strong points that the Hirani's kept trying to get through to their son and hit the unbudging wall of the answering machine. It was heartless of their son to leave behind two very old and helpless people behind without bothering to ask after them or take care of their well-being.
But, these well-made points are few and far between. Mostly it turns out to be a tale of selfishness of everybody, young and old and the general indignity of the senior citizens and the changing family structure in urban India. Of the age old Bengali emotional blackmail.
Although the setting and circumstances look real enough, the movie can be at best called mediocre and weak. Assuming the Pinaki Chaudhari wanted to depict the plight of the modern senior citizen plight in Calcutta, I do not understand why he had to show it in such a negative light. Surely, the senior citizens deserve more dignity than this.
The movie starts with a middle-class elderly (?) house-wife being driven out of her home by her alcoholic husband being accidentally run-over by a car and the husband beating himself up while their son dumps the blame of her mothers death on his father and going abroad. Then we get acquainted with all the other couples in that complex. Sabyasyachi Chatterjee, the real cool dad. Soumitra Chatterjee who does not allow his son to move abroad and Mamata Shankar the understanding mother. Monoj Mitra, the lonely father who takes resort in gardening etc. And the oldest couple, the Hirani's who get murdered.
The movie has some good acting by Sabyasachi Chatterjee, Soumitra Chatterjee and Mamata Sankar and good music by Pt. Ajay Chakraborty.
But, other than that it is too slow and long drawn. And at times very self-contradictory. In the movie, Sabyasachi Chatterjee's daughter Begum goes away to Mumbai to join fashion designing school and with lot of guilt for that (shown in negative light) whereas the security guard of the building Rudy has left his cancer ailing mother in his village (shown in positive light) while it looks like the relative distance of Calcutta to the village is a couple of hours and that of Mumbai and Calcutta too is just a couple of hours by people who can afford to fly which surely Begum can.
Other such contradictory points are more evident. Like the fact that Soumitra and Mamata had been abroad busy earning money and fame while their son stayed in hostels but when they get old, it seems like suddenly all the equations get reversed and the son has to give up his life to stay and take care of his parents who by the way are neither senile nor incapacitated in any way. And even Soumitra is selfish enough to ask what his daughter-in-law would do in her parents' place for a week! That was ridiculous! Just because she is a good wife and good daughter-in-law and just because he is used to her being around does not mean that her own parents do not mean anything to her! I found it a bit harrowing that she had to ask permission to go to her place and really beg and cajole. And also the logic of the daughter-in-laws sister was infallible in a way that when she comes back home for holiday from UK she will spend all the time with her parents unlike her sister, the perfect wife and daughter-in-law who cannot take care of her parents that way. The fallible part of her logic according to me is that she thought she would be able to come back for 5-7 weeks. That kind of holiday is unthinkable.
What amazes me even more is that all the parents wanted to keep their sons and daughters back so that they could take care of their parents, but never came up with the term 'brain drain'. Never asked them to stay back because of their country. Because of what they owed to the country. And the question of how Soumitra's daughet-in-law almost never visited her parents came into the equation.
There were however strong points that the Hirani's kept trying to get through to their son and hit the unbudging wall of the answering machine. It was heartless of their son to leave behind two very old and helpless people behind without bothering to ask after them or take care of their well-being.
But, these well-made points are few and far between. Mostly it turns out to be a tale of selfishness of everybody, young and old and the general indignity of the senior citizens and the changing family structure in urban India. Of the age old Bengali emotional blackmail.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
robibar (my first bengali blog)
baire theke ek chilte roddur eshe bole dilo bhor hoechhe… tobuo bichhanar opor arekbar gorie nilam… tarpor mone porlo aj robibar… tai abar balish Ta ke jorie dhorlam…
Baire theke pasher barir unon dhoranor gondho ashchhe… ki porichito gondho… tobu majhemajhe eto bhalo laage… ei gondoTai bujhi paoa jae kolkatar snetapora golir majhe… jekhane konodino rod Dhoke na… naki seta purono barir gondho?! Jaihok shue shuei shunte pachchhi baire corporation er kole koekjon mukh dhuchchhe… robibarer alshemite e baranda theke o barandae ekTu golpo gachha… robibarer alshemi kaTie rickshaw r awaj… amader shamner rasta Ta boro bhanga chora tai kono gari gele, emonki rickshaw geleo awaj hoe… ar oi to shona jachchhe rojkar moto Thakurer naam gaan korte korte ganga snan e cholechhen ke ekjon… enake roji gaite shuni, dekhini konodin i…
Aste aste diner byastota arombho hochchhe… baire onek hnakDak kotha batra… ar amar janla diye asha ek chilte roddur ekhon sara ghor bhorie diyechhe…
uThlam… uThe janlar pordar fnak diye dekhlam… shudhui shada borof… ar mon kharap kora akash… kuashae prae Dhaka ekTa enkebenke chola rasta…
tai aage ja ja bollam se shob ghoTchhe hajar hajar mile dure… aami majhemajhei bujhte pari na aami kothae aachhi… roddur ar mon kharap akash Ta milemishe ekakar hoe jae… pine gachher gondher shonge mishe jae shei kotodurer dhnoyar gondho… kuasha keTe giye dekhi hajar mile durer sonali roddur eshe porechhe sada borof e…
......
e shobi banano kotha... ashole shokkal bela uThei janlar fnak diye meghla akash Ta dekhe chokh bondho kore bhablam amar hajar mile durer roddurer deshe... bairer nishabdo rasta Ta ke bhablam amar parar bhanga mukhor rasta... mile er por mile pore thaka shada borof e ekTu ronger chhnoa anlam...
Baire theke pasher barir unon dhoranor gondho ashchhe… ki porichito gondho… tobu majhemajhe eto bhalo laage… ei gondoTai bujhi paoa jae kolkatar snetapora golir majhe… jekhane konodino rod Dhoke na… naki seta purono barir gondho?! Jaihok shue shuei shunte pachchhi baire corporation er kole koekjon mukh dhuchchhe… robibarer alshemite e baranda theke o barandae ekTu golpo gachha… robibarer alshemi kaTie rickshaw r awaj… amader shamner rasta Ta boro bhanga chora tai kono gari gele, emonki rickshaw geleo awaj hoe… ar oi to shona jachchhe rojkar moto Thakurer naam gaan korte korte ganga snan e cholechhen ke ekjon… enake roji gaite shuni, dekhini konodin i…
Aste aste diner byastota arombho hochchhe… baire onek hnakDak kotha batra… ar amar janla diye asha ek chilte roddur ekhon sara ghor bhorie diyechhe…
uThlam… uThe janlar pordar fnak diye dekhlam… shudhui shada borof… ar mon kharap kora akash… kuashae prae Dhaka ekTa enkebenke chola rasta…
tai aage ja ja bollam se shob ghoTchhe hajar hajar mile dure… aami majhemajhei bujhte pari na aami kothae aachhi… roddur ar mon kharap akash Ta milemishe ekakar hoe jae… pine gachher gondher shonge mishe jae shei kotodurer dhnoyar gondho… kuasha keTe giye dekhi hajar mile durer sonali roddur eshe porechhe sada borof e…
......
e shobi banano kotha... ashole shokkal bela uThei janlar fnak diye meghla akash Ta dekhe chokh bondho kore bhablam amar hajar mile durer roddurer deshe... bairer nishabdo rasta Ta ke bhablam amar parar bhanga mukhor rasta... mile er por mile pore thaka shada borof e ekTu ronger chhnoa anlam...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
wedenessday blues
The day started out with me making lunch to take with me... then i don't know how the lunch, rice rajma and all flew at me and fell all over me and the kitchen... the perfect trajectory to create the maximum disaster... ok... so i changed... put as much perfume as i could to make me smell less like a walking rajma-rice... and ran to catch the bus... wonder of all wonder!!! i actually got the bus... of course because it was late... which just means that i was late for class... i entered all sweaty and red and smelling like indian spices and not indian perfume... they really do not go well together... trust me!!!!!
After due time, the class was over... it was almost lunch time... so poor me without lunch went and had soup... we have a really good soup place... but disaster strikes again... the soup was made of cucumber!!! how was i supposed to know that from the really exotic name?! anyway had the cucumber broth... came and started working... o i am paid (really a meager salary) to write a couple of codes for some quantum chem thingey... all irrelevant and theoretical stuff about a make belief world my friends tell me... but anyway i started working... and soon i had three versions of the same code none of which compiles... oh no... one of them compiles... and gives me a wrong result... did i say result?! no ... actually it gives me a segmentation fault... and i am still deciding which version is the one that i should start working on... and in the meantime writing this blog...
and today is a wednessday... which means i am so very tired from the almost three weekdays... and weekend is still so far away!!!!!! sigh!!!!!!!!
After due time, the class was over... it was almost lunch time... so poor me without lunch went and had soup... we have a really good soup place... but disaster strikes again... the soup was made of cucumber!!! how was i supposed to know that from the really exotic name?! anyway had the cucumber broth... came and started working... o i am paid (really a meager salary) to write a couple of codes for some quantum chem thingey... all irrelevant and theoretical stuff about a make belief world my friends tell me... but anyway i started working... and soon i had three versions of the same code none of which compiles... oh no... one of them compiles... and gives me a wrong result... did i say result?! no ... actually it gives me a segmentation fault... and i am still deciding which version is the one that i should start working on... and in the meantime writing this blog...
and today is a wednessday... which means i am so very tired from the almost three weekdays... and weekend is still so far away!!!!!! sigh!!!!!!!!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
tea
of late i have taken to experimenting different kind of tea... actually, i have this friend who treated me to some turkish herbal tea which is made of apple tea, ginger and some flower and i simply loved it... and now i have found out this online tea shopping site called teavana... there are tons of exciting combinations that i never thought possible...
and oh! i have fallen in love with jasmine tea... and the last day i went grocery shopping the shop actually did not have jasmine tea... and i am out of it... and i think i am going to die without it...
i think i am getting addicted to tea... i should try to not have tea for sometime... but then is it worth it?! i wonder!
and oh! i have fallen in love with jasmine tea... and the last day i went grocery shopping the shop actually did not have jasmine tea... and i am out of it... and i think i am going to die without it...
i think i am getting addicted to tea... i should try to not have tea for sometime... but then is it worth it?! i wonder!
driving...
i have come to the conclusion that i HAVE to learn driving and endanger the lives of all forms of life moving or not moving on the streets and maybe not even on the streets...
well, this place really has no proper public transport system... the name carpool sounds distant and uncomfortable to most people... and there is no concern about the massive wastage of fuel that is going on to support comfortable (?!) and personalized transport... therefore, i have learn driving... and well, i have been known as a dangerous species on a bike... i get to be even more dangerous in a car... that's the only thought that is kind of making me feel a bit happy these days...
well, this place really has no proper public transport system... the name carpool sounds distant and uncomfortable to most people... and there is no concern about the massive wastage of fuel that is going on to support comfortable (?!) and personalized transport... therefore, i have learn driving... and well, i have been known as a dangerous species on a bike... i get to be even more dangerous in a car... that's the only thought that is kind of making me feel a bit happy these days...
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
some day...
some day i will become a bird... a tiny little humming bird... and fly into the sun... can the humming birds fly that high?! i don't know... but i will... and i will die in the process... but i will die so happy...
people keep telling me to do things seriously... some say 'u can write a few lines, why don't u do that seriously?!' some say 'since u can paint a little, why don't u paint seriously?!' others say 'since u like playing with ur camera, why don't u take pictures seriously?!' but i simply cannot... seriousness is a concept unknown to me... is it?! well, when i work it is serious... no not really... i don't even work seriously... what do i work in?! oh something little and insignificant... doesn't really matter... but what matters is that nothing is serious... whenever i try to keep a straight "serious" face, a smile trickles out...
how are people so serious?! they discuss about life and universe with a unsmiling face... it is so scary... they even can play seriously... as if it isn't an oxymoron... when i do anything, say paint or write or take pictures, i feel free... u know, a rush of feel good hormones and a whiff of cool breeze on my face... and i am just so overwhelmed... i can't look for inner meaning and such serious stuff... i just feel it somewhere deep down... what do i feel?! "good" is a very inadequate word... all words are inadequate in fact... i feel like i am standing on the top of the world... with all the universe around me... i feel like the universe itself... and i am so happy and overwhelmed that nothing else means anything...
my heart and head mingles and all the colours and words and feelings mingle... and i am so terribly incoherent... i don't say anything through anything that i do... they are just a piece of pure joy, a tiny bit of sun-ray... even the "work" that i do... they are my children... i let them grow unfettered and unhindered... i do love them with everything in me... sometimes i feel the day when i stop loving it and feeling this way, i will just cease to live...
people keep telling me to do things seriously... some say 'u can write a few lines, why don't u do that seriously?!' some say 'since u can paint a little, why don't u paint seriously?!' others say 'since u like playing with ur camera, why don't u take pictures seriously?!' but i simply cannot... seriousness is a concept unknown to me... is it?! well, when i work it is serious... no not really... i don't even work seriously... what do i work in?! oh something little and insignificant... doesn't really matter... but what matters is that nothing is serious... whenever i try to keep a straight "serious" face, a smile trickles out...
how are people so serious?! they discuss about life and universe with a unsmiling face... it is so scary... they even can play seriously... as if it isn't an oxymoron... when i do anything, say paint or write or take pictures, i feel free... u know, a rush of feel good hormones and a whiff of cool breeze on my face... and i am just so overwhelmed... i can't look for inner meaning and such serious stuff... i just feel it somewhere deep down... what do i feel?! "good" is a very inadequate word... all words are inadequate in fact... i feel like i am standing on the top of the world... with all the universe around me... i feel like the universe itself... and i am so happy and overwhelmed that nothing else means anything...
my heart and head mingles and all the colours and words and feelings mingle... and i am so terribly incoherent... i don't say anything through anything that i do... they are just a piece of pure joy, a tiny bit of sun-ray... even the "work" that i do... they are my children... i let them grow unfettered and unhindered... i do love them with everything in me... sometimes i feel the day when i stop loving it and feeling this way, i will just cease to live...
Sunday, August 13, 2006
my friend...
today i just felt like i had to write about something... first i thought i would write about a star... you know i have a friendly star in a little brook... but then i kept it for another day... then i thought of the little cat... what cat?! just some cat that i like... not actually... i haven't seen it... but i believe i like it... :-) ... but then decided to keep that for another day too... and so now i will write about my first good friend...
his name was something... but i am not going to tell u his actual name... i will call him Nobody... he wouldn't have liked this name for himself... but i am the author now, so I will call him that... he wasn't really mr. nobody... he was a nice little kid... with a little tuft of upruly hair sticking up right from the center of his head... he thought that that bit of unruly hair made him look cool... but i thought otherwise...
we lived in this Utopia of mine ( read "i remember" and u will get to know)... he used to lived in one of the six apartments in our so called township... and i was two months older than him... and was one year senior to him in studies... and wanted him to call me "didi" and he never did... Nobody and me... we were the best-est playmates... we hunted for buried treasure... and bunny holes... and tried to make up stories about each little land mark... and literally used to make a mountain of a mole hill... we had decided that the forest had fairies... and that they charmed the snakes that lived there... and also tried to see how the fairies looked... but never saw any... :-( ... we liked talking to the trees and the stars and stones... and everything... well, it was mostly liked talking to them... and he liked to see me talk to them... and even tried to make me believe that they did not listen to them... but i never believed him...
and he liked to learn and show little magic tricks... i still remember that when we left the place, he had asked me how i would recognise him later on... and i had replied that i would look for a crazy guy who always showed some crazier magic tricks and they invariably failed... however, i never did meet him anymore... so i did not have to recognise him...
and Nobody and me... we learnt to ride the bicycle together... of course i was better than him... but he wasn't that bad either... and we used to test each others balance on the wheels... and of course i was the better... no just kidding! both of us equally bad... and both of us wanted to show off... and ended up with multicoloured bruises all over our knees and elbows... and we had such great fun!
and what else?! we used to have the most epic fights where we have vowed never to talk to each other and yet within an hour our laughter echoed through the little township... some times the fights did cross the verbal limit... and i being the tom-boyish type that i was, gave him a fair fight... we were a real pretty sight after each evenings play time... well we had to come back to our apartments by 7pm and sit down to finish our homeworks... but after that really exhaustive play or fight or treasure hunt, we were always too tired...
well... what else?! he was an impossible sissy... but who cares?! he was my first real good friend... he wasn't really Nobody... Nobody was somebody in my life...
his name was something... but i am not going to tell u his actual name... i will call him Nobody... he wouldn't have liked this name for himself... but i am the author now, so I will call him that... he wasn't really mr. nobody... he was a nice little kid... with a little tuft of upruly hair sticking up right from the center of his head... he thought that that bit of unruly hair made him look cool... but i thought otherwise...
we lived in this Utopia of mine ( read "i remember" and u will get to know)... he used to lived in one of the six apartments in our so called township... and i was two months older than him... and was one year senior to him in studies... and wanted him to call me "didi" and he never did... Nobody and me... we were the best-est playmates... we hunted for buried treasure... and bunny holes... and tried to make up stories about each little land mark... and literally used to make a mountain of a mole hill... we had decided that the forest had fairies... and that they charmed the snakes that lived there... and also tried to see how the fairies looked... but never saw any... :-( ... we liked talking to the trees and the stars and stones... and everything... well, it was mostly liked talking to them... and he liked to see me talk to them... and even tried to make me believe that they did not listen to them... but i never believed him...
and he liked to learn and show little magic tricks... i still remember that when we left the place, he had asked me how i would recognise him later on... and i had replied that i would look for a crazy guy who always showed some crazier magic tricks and they invariably failed... however, i never did meet him anymore... so i did not have to recognise him...
and Nobody and me... we learnt to ride the bicycle together... of course i was better than him... but he wasn't that bad either... and we used to test each others balance on the wheels... and of course i was the better... no just kidding! both of us equally bad... and both of us wanted to show off... and ended up with multicoloured bruises all over our knees and elbows... and we had such great fun!
and what else?! we used to have the most epic fights where we have vowed never to talk to each other and yet within an hour our laughter echoed through the little township... some times the fights did cross the verbal limit... and i being the tom-boyish type that i was, gave him a fair fight... we were a real pretty sight after each evenings play time... well we had to come back to our apartments by 7pm and sit down to finish our homeworks... but after that really exhaustive play or fight or treasure hunt, we were always too tired...
well... what else?! he was an impossible sissy... but who cares?! he was my first real good friend... he wasn't really Nobody... Nobody was somebody in my life...
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