I have always been more attached to places than people. Not a nice trait many would say. But then that is how I am. So, here is what I have thought of one of the best places I lived in.
Bangalore... It all started when I got admitted into IISc for the Integrated PhD program. I had truly wanted to stay in India and be a scientist. I did not quite know what scientist meant but I was awed and inspired by it and as most people would agree IISc was the place to be. It would have been an understatement if I said that I was deliriously happy and proud to be part of such a great institute. So, I packed all my belongings in 2 rather small bags and left my home to come to Bangalore. My parents came with me to help me settle in. And then they left. I was all alone. I had always thought that I was not very attached to my family but this was the first time I really missed everybody. I was lonely and scared. Helpless. Come to think of it I was not all that young. I was 20.
Luckily I had friends from college who also came to join the same program. But somehow I was not too out-going, not too friendly in college and I could not expect them to suddenly come and stand by my sides. That night I took a very long bicycle ride in the campus. In the most remote parts of the campus, from where I could not see the gates that lead to the outside, to the train station and then back to my home (some 2000 kms away). I was completely exhausted when I came back.
This was my first day in IISc. The next few days weren't that much better. One of my good friends left IISc and went back to Calcutta. I hated the dim yellow lights that lit up the streets. The campus induced claustrophobia in me.
But something happened. So gradually that I did not notice. But, I surely knew that somethings have changed on my birthday. About 2 months had passed. I was getting used to the campus and all the people in it. But, the thought of spending my birthday away from home made me quite upset. Strangely so. Because my birthday was not celebrated with any pomp and glory at home. But anyway, I was sad and decided to not come back to my hostel room till very late in the night, till I was too tired to be sad that is. I walked in to my room and put the lights on only to see my room completely decked up with streamers and balloons. I heard the complete Int Phd girl's gang singing "Happy Birthday" with a cake and all. The complete shabang. I tell you that was the best birthday I ever had and if you ask me that was the day that I started feeling at home in Bangalore.
I lived in Bangalore for 3 years. Only 3 years. But, those were 3 golden years. I cannot pin-point any one reason why it is so precious to me. I joined the Natok (bengali drama) group and that definitely became like a family to me. Although going on stage was so much fun, it was the group aDDas that mattered the most. The Int Phd girl's gang (only 7 of us), all of us so different from each other became the best of friends. I don't know how that happened. We had fun, we chatted till 4 am and was named the notorious noise makers in the hostel, we celebrated birthdays and V-days and just days, we cried on each others shoulders and occasionally bitched about each other. And amidst all this confusion, we started trusting each other. Then there was a famous trio of friends that I was a part of. I cannot count the number of hours we have spent in TMSC or mess or Gymcafe yakking about everything and nothing. This trio grew into the Hoihoi Sangha with its weekend trips and mess aDDa and numerous Tea board trips throughout the day. The Saturday night Shreyas aDDa which culminated in the night long discussion on life, universe and everything outside the Gymkhana.
This was really the place that made me what I am today. It taught me the real meaning of freedom and the responsibilities that come with it. To be anything I want to be. To be completely self-sufficient. To have dreams. It also taught me the real meaning of friendship and gave me amazing friends that I will always treasure and miss. The strength to miss a lot of things and still move on. The strength to stand up to people and do the right things. It also showed me why I tend to miss places and not people. Because what we think of as places are really the intersection of many people all at the same time and place. And Bangalore gave me the opportunity to interact with the perfect medley of people. It gave me a place to form my own views and the confidence to express them.
In Bangalore, I do not see the glitter of MG Road, I see the quiet shades of the trees in IISc. I do not see the hep IT crowd, I see my friends in their tattered jeans and T-shirts, poor in their attire but not in their dreams. The cool coffee shops and restaurants give way to the coffee board and Tea board and mess with its quite atrocious food.
If Durgapur was the place that nurtured the little girl in me, Bangalore was the place that made me the human being I am.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Women's reservation bill and all the controversy
I was going through the BBC blog on the bill for reservation of seats for women in the parliament.
Firstly, let me make my point of view clear. I am against most reservations. Because I think reservations while giving the illusion of growth actually stymies it. There is a certain stigma attached to a person's attitude towards anybody who has come to a position with the help of reservation and not on his/her merit alone. I think that stigma in itself is detrimental to growth. But, then again when airing this view I have been asked about what I feel about the reserved seats or compartments in the local transportations in the Indian cities or suburbs. I am always a bit pained at what the answer to this question is. I have faced the perils that a young girl undergoes everyday when commuting to and from work/schools/colleges and I have to agree that this reservation is a "necessary evil". Now that I have sort of cleared my point of view with regard to general reservation, let me make some comments on the reservation of parliamentary seats. This reservation is in some way more crucial than reservation of seats in a bus or seats in an educational institution for that matter. There are definitely two sides to this reservation. It is my belief (and in no way is it supported by any statistical analysis) that inclusion of women in the legislative system might lead to increase in importance given to certain issues that are most crucial for women and may otherwise be overlooked by men. However, I seriously doubt the statement (in the BBC blog) that women are less prone to be corrupt than men. There has been the added concern aired that this reservation might lead to women being elected who would be puppets in the hand of their male relatives. While this situation might indeed happen, this is no different than the 'male relatives' actually in the government and should not be an added concern. Even if a certain percentage of women are able to make decisions on their own that is a positive step. Overall this bill might have some positive effects on the lives of women in India.
However, this bill is only the first baby step towards betterment of the condition of the women in India. For the real improvement, there is need for all round socio-economic development and better education and awareness among the women. The bill in itself is no reason for rejoicing. It is the effect of the bill and the way it is implemented that could potentially be a cause for celebration.
As an after thought I was going over the various comments to the blog. That is where I was surprised --- in both good and bad way! I found many well meant comments both for and against the bill but recognizing the condition of women in India and the need for improvement. I did not think so many people (especially men) realized and felt for women. And I found people who refused to even believe that women are treated unfairly.
There was few comments noting that not everybody in India treats women in a derogatory manner. While this is true the broad general statement that Indian women are treated unfairly and with derogation is a truth that can hardly be argued. People also tend to compare the situation of women in India and the west. The argument put forward is always that we had a woman prime minister. I, myself am not under an illusion that women are treated equally anywhere. But there is a varying degree of equality and fairness. And while we have had a woman prime minister, the average Indian woman is still treated much much more unfairly than in the west. Women foeticide is still a common practice as well as dowry. Even in the urban areas and among educated people dowry and preferential treatment of male child is predominant. Women while they can work for a living are still expected to do all the house chores by themselves. This leads to a woman having to choose between work and home. The women who choose to stay at home and look after the household duties are left at the mercy of her male relatives (and made to be thoroughly aware of her precarious predicament) and the national per capita income does not show her as earning even if she does some part-time job from home.
.....
This was a post I had started writing a few months ago and got too agitated to see it to its completion. But, anyway I will keep hoping that someday women in India and everywhere else are treated with respect and viewed as equal to men.
Firstly, let me make my point of view clear. I am against most reservations. Because I think reservations while giving the illusion of growth actually stymies it. There is a certain stigma attached to a person's attitude towards anybody who has come to a position with the help of reservation and not on his/her merit alone. I think that stigma in itself is detrimental to growth. But, then again when airing this view I have been asked about what I feel about the reserved seats or compartments in the local transportations in the Indian cities or suburbs. I am always a bit pained at what the answer to this question is. I have faced the perils that a young girl undergoes everyday when commuting to and from work/schools/colleges and I have to agree that this reservation is a "necessary evil". Now that I have sort of cleared my point of view with regard to general reservation, let me make some comments on the reservation of parliamentary seats. This reservation is in some way more crucial than reservation of seats in a bus or seats in an educational institution for that matter. There are definitely two sides to this reservation. It is my belief (and in no way is it supported by any statistical analysis) that inclusion of women in the legislative system might lead to increase in importance given to certain issues that are most crucial for women and may otherwise be overlooked by men. However, I seriously doubt the statement (in the BBC blog) that women are less prone to be corrupt than men. There has been the added concern aired that this reservation might lead to women being elected who would be puppets in the hand of their male relatives. While this situation might indeed happen, this is no different than the 'male relatives' actually in the government and should not be an added concern. Even if a certain percentage of women are able to make decisions on their own that is a positive step. Overall this bill might have some positive effects on the lives of women in India.
However, this bill is only the first baby step towards betterment of the condition of the women in India. For the real improvement, there is need for all round socio-economic development and better education and awareness among the women. The bill in itself is no reason for rejoicing. It is the effect of the bill and the way it is implemented that could potentially be a cause for celebration.
As an after thought I was going over the various comments to the blog. That is where I was surprised --- in both good and bad way! I found many well meant comments both for and against the bill but recognizing the condition of women in India and the need for improvement. I did not think so many people (especially men) realized and felt for women. And I found people who refused to even believe that women are treated unfairly.
There was few comments noting that not everybody in India treats women in a derogatory manner. While this is true the broad general statement that Indian women are treated unfairly and with derogation is a truth that can hardly be argued. People also tend to compare the situation of women in India and the west. The argument put forward is always that we had a woman prime minister. I, myself am not under an illusion that women are treated equally anywhere. But there is a varying degree of equality and fairness. And while we have had a woman prime minister, the average Indian woman is still treated much much more unfairly than in the west. Women foeticide is still a common practice as well as dowry. Even in the urban areas and among educated people dowry and preferential treatment of male child is predominant. Women while they can work for a living are still expected to do all the house chores by themselves. This leads to a woman having to choose between work and home. The women who choose to stay at home and look after the household duties are left at the mercy of her male relatives (and made to be thoroughly aware of her precarious predicament) and the national per capita income does not show her as earning even if she does some part-time job from home.
.....
This was a post I had started writing a few months ago and got too agitated to see it to its completion. But, anyway I will keep hoping that someday women in India and everywhere else are treated with respect and viewed as equal to men.
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